Slow down and BREATHE

Breathe! You’d think I would remember this just by looking at my own blog title.  However, this past week breathing in the literal sense of the word has been a challenge for me.  I feel like some pretty big and exciting things have been set into motion in just the first two weeks of 2010.  Last week, things were moving pretty fast and all I could think was that I wanted it to slow down some.  This week things have slowed down and all I want is for them to speed up.  Confused much?! 

Throughout this week, I’ve had plenty of signs from God urging me to slow down.  Yesterday was the most dramatic of examples…on my way home from work, mind you I was in rush hour traffic and it wasn’t any different than any other trip home. No matter what I did I would get stuck behind the slowest person whether it was in the left lane or the right lane.  I couldn’t win!    To make matters worse I was trying to get back to town to meet up with my mom in order to make it to my sisters graduation on time.  It took me 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to my mom’s house to find out she had already left.  She was worried she would be late and left with good reason.  However, at the time I was pretty angry that she left without me because I felt I had to perform some ENORMOUS (exaggerating of course) feats just to get there sort of on time.  My mom happened to call at the same time I pulled up to her house and an angry conversation on my part ensued.  So SORRY Mom, I’d forgotten what age I was!  I rushed to my place so that I could go the bathroom and freshen up quickly.  On my way home a rock hit my windshield and left a nice chip.  At that point I was pretty enraged, embarrassingly so.  I wanted to cry but couldn’t.  I got home and channeled my three year old self and threw a mini temper tantrum which may have included slamming my car and house door, throwing my water bottle in the sink and throwing my lunch box on the floor.  The funniest part about my temper tantrum is that I couldn’t throw it with reckless abandonment.  I wanted to throw my lunch box but only tossed it a few inches because I knew my glass mug inside could break and the honey bottle could open and then the stickiness would be everywhere.  My tantrum was pathetic compared to the doozies I proudly threw in my early years…LOL!  That realization along with the fact that I was lucky enough to not have anyone witness my embarrassing behavior was enough to calm me down.   The rest of the evening went just fine, I made it to my sister’s graduation with plenty of time to spare.  Even my day had been fine.  I’m not sure what got into me in those 2 hours. 

My longwinded point is that I know God was urging me to slow down that things were ok and that I would have plenty of time to be there for my sister, but I just didn’t want to listen. 

One of things I want to work on this year and for the rest of my life is to slow down, breathe, and enjoy and appreciate every minute of my life.  Time moves so quickly on its own that I don’t need to waste my time wishing for the day to be over or being impatient for that party, trip, dinner plans, etc. that I have planned on the next day, week, or month.  Those events will come but I want to be present in the now, fully take in every emotion I feel, to see and feel the little things.  Because in essence those are the moments that make me feel the happiest and calmest. 

I’m not saying that I won’t have anymore freak outs, because I will.  But I’d like to be more aware of those moments when I’m heading in that direction and be able to remind myself to slow down and BREATHE!